Ramblings of the Redhead and the Rogue
by dwellingonephemeraldreams
Summary: What's going on in Lily's and James's minds in the 7 days preceding their first kiss? Alternating POV's. Rated T for language.
1. Sunday Night, when pouting is dangerous

She's a bitch. She was, is, and always will be a bitch. A beautiful, intelligent, responsible bitch, sure, but a bitch all the same. Maybe she's a bitch because of the way her mouth always had a quick, sarcastic reply to whatever quip I just said. Maybe it was because of the way her brain absorbed everything- even Professor Binns' incredibly monotonous babbling- and got marks that could make a Ravenclaw (and me) jealous. Maybe it because of the way she fulfilled her Head duties so diligently, she made Dumbledore look negligent. Maybe it was because she didn't give a fig about Quidditch and would rather study than watch a match. Maybe it was because of the way her eyes shine when she's happy and her smile brightens up my day and one touch from her sends electric jolts through me that should not, in any circumstances, be even possible to feel. Then again, it's probably because she's been rejecting me for three years in the most publicly humiliating ways possible- she once said the Giant Squid would be more preferable than me.

That inherent bitchiness of hers is deeply ingrained, and no one can ever get rid of it. One must simply learn to tolerate and live with it, and I, valiant masochist that I am, have decided to fall for it. Which is not to say that bitchiness is what her entire personality is- no, quite the contrary. It's a well-known fact in Hogwarts that Lily Evans was kind, caring, and endearing in every sense of the word- except to me. For some reason, I bring out the devil within her, and all her anger and annoyance was _always _directed towards me, the not-so-innocent bloke that thinks she looks unbelievably attractive when her fists are curled up while she's screaming various, creative insults to my face. Her anger was nothing compared to her happiness though, but since I seem incapable of making her smile, I settled for annoying the hell out of her. The most effective way, of course, was to constantly ask her out. You'd think that after hearing millions of "no's" from her, it wouldn't affect me anymore, but it's the opposite, really. Halfway through 6th year, I realised that this particular way of inciting a little anger from her just might be inciting a lot more than a little disappointment in me.

Annoying her in general doesn't happen a lot these days, actually. Head duties had forced us to establish some kind of truce, just because neither of us wanted to be killed by McGonagall, and wasn't it oh so much easier to observe that freckled face when you weren't forced to think of comebacks all the time? Weeks pass, patrols occur, arguments are reduced to an all-time low, and she still has no idea that she's a bitch simply for not knowing, not _realising_ that there's some guy literally in front of her face wondering what it would be like to be the cause of her brilliant smile for once.

"Potter, can you cover for my patrol tomorrow night? I have a Potions essay I have to finish."

Her voice ripped the image I was having of her running her fingers through my hair. Damn mistress of evil.

"I have Quidditch practice tomorrow, love. You wouldn't let Hufflepuff triumph over the red and gold, would you?" The glare she shot me was positively barbaric, but it was somehow softened by the fire burning in our very own Head common room. _Fire works well with her, _I thought privately. _Her hair looks like it's shining, her freckles are illuminated… hell, even her personality was fire. _

"I'm sure you can reschedule."

"And I'm sure _you _can finish your essay in due time. The match is in a week, Evans, and I'm not about to let 'Puffs win the Cup."

"Patrol is 'til midnight! How do you expect me to finish an entire bloody essay when I can only get back at bloody _midnight_? Quidditch doesn't even count for anything! Potions can decide what I'll be doing for the rest of my life!" She was desperate, I knew, and I was very, very close to giving in, but the thought of my team's faces if I told them practice was cancelled stopped me. And besides, she said Quidditch doesn't count for anything. That was sacrilege to the highest degree.

"Evans…" I forgot what I was going to say, for Lily Evans was glaring and _pouting_ at me, and all I could suddenly think about was how soft her lips looked… they were dry and chapped, true, but I could remedy that, right? "I… I gotta go. You can ask Davies, I'm sure he's free." And I dashed down the stairs before I did something that will guarantee her hatred, like grabbing her by the waist and touching her lips with mine, and then my hands would move up to play with her soft hair, while hers would be on my chest…

_Merlin, Sirius, where are you when I need a distraction?_

**Chapter 2 to come soon! **


	2. Sunday Night, when pottery is pondered

He is a prat. He was, is, and always will be a prat. A handsome, smart, athletic prat, fine, but a prat nonetheless. Maybe his prattiness was due to the fact that I am constantly forced to think of quick, sarcastic replies to his ignorant quips. Maybe it was because of the way he got excellent marks without a single minute of studying and less than five hours of sleep. Maybe it was because Quidditch stopped being the only thing he cared about and actually performed his Head duties with a seriousness I had never expected him to have. Maybe it was because the way he always musses up his hair, his stupid, confident grin, that glint in his eyes he gets when he thinks of something clever, the way he gives me feelings like no other (it used to be anger, but now…)- all of those had become less annoying and, dare I say it, more charming, attractive, endearing, and every synonym of those words I'd never thought I'd use to describe Ja- _Potter_. Of course, the most obvious reason for his prattiness is that he'd been asking me out for three years, stopped in the middle of sixth year, and is actually making me bloody _fall _for him now that he's a decent person and there's no chance of him ever asking me out like he used to.

_Calm down, Lily. You're probably just confusing deep loathing for liking the bloke_. _Anger and infatuation were both classified as passionate emotions, right? You're just confusing your abhorrence for attraction… Or was it the other way around?_

_No no no no, Lily, stop vacillating. You are going out with Edmund Davies on Saturday! Edmund's number one in the list of boys the Hogwarts female population would like to date!_

_Isn't that Potter?_

_Does it matter? He's everything Potter is, Quidditch captain and all that, and he's in Hufflepuff, which almost guarantees sweetness that will melt your heart and drive out Potter once and for all._

_What if I don't want to drive Potter out?_

_Then you've just surrendered yourself to heartbreak and misery._

_But… I don't feel miserable whenever he smiles at me… quite the opposite, actually…_

At that thought, I shut both the voices in my head up. Fancying Potter meant fancying the bane of my existence, and that will simply not do. All I needed was some male companionship, right? Most of my male companionship time had been spent with Potter, Head duties and all that, nothing to do with, _ahem, _the enjoyment of his company. At all. Nothing at all. Although he _does _make me laugh like Richard Bones never could… and his eyes always seemed to change colour… sometimes it was a deep, dark brown, other days it looked almost green, with flecks of yellow. My personal favourite would have to be the hazel those eyes always seemed to acquire whenever I looked at him… hey, maybe it was a special colour for me. A special, reserved-for-Lily colour. I like the sound of that…

LILY EVANS, STOP IT. YOU ARE GOING OUT WITH EDMUND DAVIES ON SATURDAY WHETHER YOU LIKE IT OR NOT.

Right. I needed that. Potter had given me literally a million chances, and I chose to ignore all of them. Whatever despair I'm feeling right now, I deserved it… but Potter was _nowhere _near the amiable sort-of-friend I now had back then. Back then, he was so insouciant and thoughtless and he fancied me. Is that why he fancied me? Because he was young and foolish? The sudden thought made me feel a bit sick. So now that he's grown up a bit, he finally realised… Oh, bugger that. Off to Hogsmeade Edmund and I will go, and Potter can only blame himself for not asking me out earlier.

_He still might. He's staying for the Christmas Holidays, isn't he? Edmund isn't. you and Potter may even get stuck under a bit of mistletoe together while you're on patrol, and no one can catch you then…_

Oh bloody shit wank bugger I need to stop.

Patrol! I still needed to swap with someone! Potter was right, Edmund _is _free, but I don't want him thinking I was taking advantage of him. Ugh. I'll just have to finish the bloody essay earlier in the night. Edmund's nice though, I pondered. It would be a pleasant date, I suppose. Who knows, if it went just that well, I could watch the Quidditch match the following day and cheer him on- wait, no, Hufflepuff's facing Gryffindor. Which means, Edmund is facing Potter.

Merlin, does everything have to come back to the subject of my eternal enmity?

I mean, his name isn't even an especially good-sounding one. _Potter._ Does that mean he likes pottery? Did his ancestors have prolific skill in that area? Will his descendants? Is it even something that can be passed on?

I remembered the art lessons I took with Petunia when I was younger, before I went to Hogwarts… before my sister called me a freak. It included pottery, as I recall. I had been quite good at it; my mum was delighted with the small vase I made her. I could make a good Potter.

_Lily Potter. _I tried saying it out loud, just to hear what it sounded like.

"Does this mean you plan on marrying me, or are you referring to some distant relative of mine?"

_Merlin's pants, how did I not hear him coming up?_


	3. Monday, when a pig gets red hair

"Oi, Moony, you writing all this down?"

"Yes. And so should you."

"I'll buy you a block of chocolate the next time we head off to Hogsmeade."

"Two."

"One, _and _I'll speak to Madame Rosmerta for you."

"One, and you don't speak to Rosmerta at all."

"Deal."

Sirius turned back to face the front, putting on an expression of utter concentration. "See that, Wormtail? That's how it's done." Wormtail, who was beside my best mate, just nodded in agreement while writing down notes himself. True, Transfiguration was, by far, my favourite subject, but I already knew how to change a table to a pig, c'mon, I'm _James Potter_… that, and it was the last class of a Monday. No one felt too eager for writing or pranking, so I feigned the same look Sirius had and set my mind to think of more worthwhile things, like that servant of darkness, Lily Po- _Evans. _

Last night was still a very, very confusing event. I had gone down to the Common room to look for any of the Marauders, and found, well, no one. It was 'bout 11 pm, after all. Sirius was probably off in a dark corridor snogging some girl he'd known for two days, and Moony and Wormtail had probably turned in, which I probably should do as well. And ignore Evans, that's another thing I should accomplish, at least for the five seconds I'd have to spend in the Head common room before reaching my room. You see, I _would've _done that perfectly well if she had kept her perfect pouting mouth shut.

"_Lily Potter." _

I had just walked through the door. I'm sorry, _what?_ Did that seriously just come out of her perfect pouting mouth? How did my last name somehow find its way to her first? Why didn't I know about this? Do I sweep her off her feet and kiss her passionately, or do I sit down next to her and discuss how our kids _have _to be good at Quidditch? And then, it occurred to me that this probably didn't mean anything. But still, I had to have confirmation, right?

"_Does this mean you plan on marrying me, or are you referring to some distant relative of mine?"_

She had blushed more furiously than I had ever seen before, gotten up, walked to the door of her room before turning back at the last second to reply to me.

"_I'm quite excellent at pottery, thank you very much."_

And then she was gone, probably dozing peacefully while I stared up at the roof of my canopy bed. What does that statement even _mean?_ She's good at pottery. That's really peachy for her, then. But you don't _have _to be good at pottery to be a Potter; I myself was quite rubbish at it. Neither do you have to be called Potter if you're good at pottery; I don't recall any of my ancestors being particularly good at it. _What does pottery even have to do with anything? _

I swear, those two words kept me up for a lot longer than the few seconds it took to say them... Ha! That was it! Evans is so intimidated by my superior intelligence that she discussed a plan with the lords of darkness that she serves. A plan that will make me lose sleep, therefore losing focus in class the next day, which means less marks for me when the tests come around, which means less competition for her. I almost snorted. Even if she somehow got me out of the picture, she still had the entire Ravenclaw house plus Gryffindor's own Moony to contend with- and I am _not _out of the picture.

_That's bullshit, and you know it. Lily would never cheat or think of supposedly evil plans. Unlike you._

Shut it, brain, no one asked for your view on the matter. It was better to think of her trying to sabotage my studies than go down the road of what-if-she-was-thinking-about-being-married-to-you-at-that-moment-because-she-fancies-you? No, that road was too hard, too painful, and too well-trodden. I had gone down that road often enough in the past four years, knew its twists and turns, and where it eventually leads- _she doesn't fancy you and probably never will._

"_That's fine." _I always tell myself _"I'm fine with being her friend. At least I get to see her smile."_

But the truth was, it wasn't fine. We've been working well in the three months we've been Heads, and we might be even bordering, holy shit, friendship, but I've been-

"Mr. Potter, are you writing any of this down?" McGonagall, you're a peach, you really are, but I'm busy pondering the mysteries of a certain redhead here. Now's not the time to assault me with transfigured pigs.

"Of course, Professor."

"Would you like to demonstrate, then?"

"Glad to." I grinned after I changed her desk to what I'm sure was a strapping, very pink pig- wait, was that _red hair_ on my darling pig's body? I changed it back before ginger-pig could have a chance to parade his hair. _Why would a pig have red hair, of all things? Don't they usually have white hair or something? _

McGonagall raised an eyebrow. "Five points to Gryffindor. Class dismissed."

Oh, McGonagall, you just get peachier every minute I spend with you.

I chucked the parchment and quill I didn't use in my bag and followed my fellow Marauders out of the room. "Prongs, correct me if I'm wrong, but was that pig a ginger?" Sirius had that look he gets whenever he thinks of an especially good prank that was sure to send Filch into fits of rage and spluttering.

"Padfoot, you're wrong, and I'm correcting you. The pig was clearly a brunette. I know how much you love them."

"Really? I always thought Padfoot's more of a blonde person. You, on the other hand…" _Remus Lupin, you're one of my best mates, but certain people have to go if I have to pretend ginger-pig never appeared in that classroom._

Before I could tell him this, however, a real ginger came up behind me. "Potter." She called out softly, with none of the usual vehemence. She sounded… nervous, actually.

"Padfoot, Moony, don't we have to go somewhere?" _Wormtail, since when were you so leader-ish?_

"Why, yes, I think there's soft, plushy couches in the common room with our names on it. Come along now, peasants." Sirius gave me a wink as he grabbed the other two by the arms to drag them away. I turned back to Evans. Well, she didn't look _that _nervous. Her cheeks had a faint red in them, but nowhere near as much as last night, and she was playing with her fingers. Otherwise, she looked perfectly fine.

"Yes, Evans? If this is about patrol again, I can assure you that nothing, not even if you somehow make it hail acid snow, can change my mind." Actually, her going on a date with me can change my mind in a heartbeat, but the mistress of evil isn't about to know that.

"No, no… patrol's fine, I'll do it myself… it's about, errr… it's about last night."

**Oh hello, Amanda here. A quick thank you to kimflake and atinydinosaur for their reviews, and to everyone who favorited/subscribed to this story, you guys are great :)**

**And to harry potter is my muse, I realised you're right upon reading it again, so I changed it. Easier to read now, yes? And thank you to you too. :)**


	4. Monday, when the butterflies come

"I was just… I was sort of trying out my name with all the boys' last names. You know, to see what it sounds like. In alphabetical order. I was trying it in alphabetical order. You just happened to walk in when I got 'round to P."

Hex me. Hex me right now. I had spent the night dramatically tossing and turning trying to think of some sort of excuse as to why I suddenly had Potter's last name, but the one I settled for was really, unbelievably ludicrous. Not only do I sound like a scarlet woman aiming for all the dashing bachelors in this school, but _trying out my name with boys' last names? _What am I, some ditzy, shallow 5thyear? Not even 13-year old me would try out such a ridiculous, pointless activity. And in _alphabetical order? _Merlin help me.

Still, this excuse was better than admitting I just wanted to hear my name with his. What else was I supposed to say? "_Oh, James, I couldn't stop myself, I'm so sorry! It's just that my greatest dream is to marry you and have loads of beautiful, hazel-eyed children! And don't you worry, they'll be Quidditch fanatics, just like you! We'll make sure of that, won't we? You'll train them in the mornings while I cook pancakes with maple syrup, which I know is your favourite because you devour no less than 5 every morning at breakfast. And then, in the afternoons, we'll teach them all the Hogwarts' subjects; I'll be in charge of Charms, Potions, Ancient Runes, and History of Magic, while you take care of Defense, Transfiguration, Care of Magical Creatures, and Herbology. When they get older, they'll learn Arithmancy as well! The first two children will be a boy and a girl. The girl will get black hair, while the boy will inherit my ginger-ness. Both will have your hazel eyes. They can enchant anyone they want with your stunning, hazel eyes… Have I mentioned that you look amazing when you're in your Quidditch uniform? Marry me, James! Take me, you gorgeous scoundrel, take me!_

Oh, shit.

Did I really just envision what our children would look like? And did I just call him a gorgeous scoundrel? Because, you know, he isn't that much of a scoundrel nowadays… rather very much a gentleman, actually.

Really, Lily? You're worrying about James Potter's _etiquette?_

"I must have amazing timing, then, to walk in as you got 'round to P." James snapped me out of my delusional fantasies while showing off his infamous, cocky grin. "Maybe you were just trying to seduce me, Evans."

_No, but I'd like to._

"Potter," I made sure to fill my voice with as much contempt as possible, "do you even know what that _is? _Was conjuring that pig that somehow had my hair a form of seduction to you too?"

For a moment, Potter bristled and I was about to do some sort of Dance of Triumph. But then the cocky grin just got a little bit cockier.

"Depends. Are you feeling seduced right now?"

Oh, the _nerve! _You don't ask me out, yet you make such suggestive comments that I would like to say yes to! What are you playing at, Potter?

Stop one second.

He didn't deny the fact that the pig had my hair.

Transfiguration laws state that the properties of whatever you were thinking of were often imbued in the object you were transfiguring.

Which means I was in Potter's mind.

Interesting.

No, it is _not_ interesting_,_ it is _infuriating. _My being in his mind is giving me hope that he still fancies me. Hope that I should most definitely not have because he _doesn't._ He doesn't, he doesn't, he doesn't. Potter, you are giving me hope that you have no right to be giving!

_But why would he be thinking about you enough so that your hair is incorporated into that pig?_

_A pig is hardly a flattering thing to be incorporated into._

_Lily, that's not the point! _

_Shit, I haven't even replied to his suggestive comment yet!_

"Oh, but pigs aren't exactly my favourite animal. Try something less pink next time; it might just work."

_That _got rid of the stupid grin. That's right, Lily, throw him off his horse! Make him feel uncomfortable! Give him the same infuriating hope that he's giving you!

"Next time? I dunno, Evans, my seducing schedule's a bit full at the moment. Your turn may have to wait 'til next week."

"You've just killed me with disappointment."

"So sorry, Evans." The grin was back. "I didn't know you pine so much for my company."

_You have no idea. And I hate you for it._

"Didn't you know? I pine for you so much, in fact, that-" but my sarcasm was cut off by a certain Hufflepuff Quidditch captain calling out to me.

"Lily, hey! Hestia said you were still here. Saturday still on?"

Oh, dear. Oh dear oh dear oh dear.

A bloke coming up to me and asking me about our date on Saturday is no big deal, of course, but judging by the way Potter's face had turned to stone (I didn't even know said face could be any more angular, but turned to stone, it did), it was to him. For the second time today, I was on the verge of doing a Dance of Triumph, because hey, Potter was sort-of-jealous! That implied feelings, right? My hopes just shot up to a height taller than the Astronomy Tower. But then, I realised Edmund was standing right there and Potter is standing right there too and oh, that is an inconvenient environment for dancing.

"Potter, hi." Edmund flashed a smile towards his Quidditch rival. He's copying my pet name for Potter? How cute. To be honest, his own last name is hardly a pet name, but I was the only one that called him that, so pet name it is. Wait, no, _I'm _the only one that calls him that!

"James. His name is James."

For some reason, this simple statement extracted polar reactions from the two Quidditch fanatics that were with me. James looked… well, "surprised" would be an understatement. His eyes were wide open, and the stoniness in his face melted away… And then he smiled. Exactly why, I don't know, but _Merlin, _that boy can smile. He looked like someone had just informed him that N.E.W.T.'s were cancelled, Filch was about to be kicked out of Hogwarts _and _Zonko's was having a 90% off sale on everything prank-related. I'd seen him smile thousands of times before, but never like… this. But _why? _All I did was correct Edmund. Was that it? Is their rivalry so intense that any slip-up of one gave the other extreme happiness?

Edmund, on the other hand, just looked confused. "I thought you always called him Potter… But anyway, Saturday. We're definitely going to Hogsmeade, yes?"

At that, Potter's smile faded just a tiny amount. It was still there, though. "Well, I'll leave you two to plan your traipsing around Hogsmeade. I'll see you later, Lily."

Bloody hell, now I know what he was smiling rainbows about. My name- my _real _name- being uttered from his mouth sounded so…so… _nice. _Another understatement. It sounded a lot more than nice, but I currently have no working brain matter left to bother being properly descriptive. It seemed like all my wits had been chased out by the butterflies that were fluttering about my body, and it suddenly felt like I might be carried away by them. _Lily. _Never has my name sounded so alluring, so lovely, so… _Lily. _Come to think of it, we never really called each other by our proper names, have we? It was always Potter or Evans. I always thought it symbolised our rivalry, how we never referred to each other as everyone else around us did. Bugger all that now.I vaguely felt my face working up an equally brilliant smile as Potter's- no, _James's_- was.

"See you, James."

Another smile from him, and then he disappeared off into the corridor. My smile was far from gone, however.

"Lily?" Edmund was looking at me in some way that suggested concern.

"Hm? Yes, Hogsmeade. Great Hall. 12 pm. Mhmmm, yes. Okay. Gotta go. Catch you later." I gave him a parting wave, and before he could ask if I was mentally unstable, I walked away towards… I didn't really know. I was too distracted by the butterflies that, like my smile, hadn't disappeared either- and I doubt they will for quite some time.

**OoOoOoOo**

**Amanda is here once again! I apologise for the fact that I'm a bit of a slow updater, but I've been quite busy and will only get busier as homework piles up. Believe me, I know how waiting for updates feel, which is why I will try to put something up at least every week (or less!). Thank you for your reviews and patience! I'll catch you guys later! :)**


	5. Monday, when Sirius has a plan

Hogwarts' stone grey walls have never exactly been cheerful, but I was so happy it could've been Honeydukes, for all I care. I was practically _skipping _through the corridors to get to the common room. She called me by my name_. James bloody Potter. _You see, I always figured all the Potter-calling was some sort of symbol of how much she hates my guts, and that the day she calls me James must be the day the heavens started to pity me and Lily Evans started to… you know, more-than-just-tolerate my presence. She might even fancy me! Edmund, I've never liked you, but thank Merlin you decided to copy her Potter-calling. Oh, wait, she's going out on a date with him. Shit. Are you serious, Davies? You bring me joy and misery at the same time, you know that? No, of course you wouldn't, you ignorant, annoying prick.

Still, "James" was a huge step, and it was only a matter of time before it becomes "honey", or "sweetheart", both of which where sickeningly corny, but hey, if it was from Lily, I'd take it. In fact, I'd already made up a plan to make her forget all about Davies and fall for me completely. I just needed to run it by the lads. You know, Marauder code and all that.

"Pixie wings", I told the Fat Lady, and the portrait door swung open. I spotted Sirius and Peter talking near the fireplace, and I can just assume that Remus was in his dorm, most likely doing homework. No matter, I'll drag them all upstairs and run them by my grand plan. I couldn't do that though, because before I'd even taken two steps in the common room, I was assaulted by Lily's best friend, Hestia Jones. Lily had heaps of friends, sure, but the number one spot belonged to Hestia. Who also happened to be my cousin. My cousin who was in the Quidditch team I captained. Which makes you wonder whom she'd be loyal to once Lily and I are together.

_James, stop. You are thinking way ahead of yourself. Besides, why can't she be loyal to the both of you?_

_Oh, you know, what if we have fights? Which won't last, I know, but whose side is she going to take?_

_She may not need to because if you don't succeed with this plan, you're not going to get to be with that redheaded concubine of the night. _

_Sod off. _

"James!" Hestia was only a few inches shorter than me, and a Chaser as well, so I was very nearly sent to the floor by that tackle.

"I see you've been practicing on the broom tackle manoeuvre thing I taught you."

"You've always been the eloquent one in the family. But anyway, have you seen Lily? She told me she needed to tell me something important last night, and it's been an hour since Transfiguration ended." Hestia ran a hand through her black hair, which was nowhere near as messy as mine. Funny how she got the habit but not the hair to go with it… Wait, it's been an _hour_ since Transfiguration? _Merlin, how long have I been wandering around?_

"It's been an hour?"

My cousin just cocked an eyebrow at me. "Yes, of course it's been an hour. You didn't happen to drag Lily to a broom closet and ravage her, did you?"

_No, but I'd like to._

I rolled my eyes at her. "Lily wouldn't let me drag her to a closet. Lily wouldn't let _anyone _drag her to a closet. She's far too strong-willed for that."

"That's true. I'm just checking, though. The look on your face when you entered the room looked suspiciously, overly happy. It was alarming."

_Heh. She noticed that? _

Putting a hand on my heart, I feigned a look of shock "You'd think that of me, cousin? Why, I was only happy to learn that my excellent Gryffindor team was more than happy to train tonight."

She completely ignored me. Lily must be starting to convince her that being a concubine of the night was a happy, profitable activity. "Davies was asking me where she was just after Transfiguration. I swear, if that poxy arse tries anything to her, I will personally sacrifice him to the Giant Squid, naked and screaming."

Bugger the fact that she was a concubine of the night in training, I'd never been more proud of her than at that moment.

"You really are my cousin" I said as I beamed with pride "Only a relative of mine can be capable of such violent threats and the ability to fulfil them."

She just gave me a tired look. Well, at least she tried to. She had constantly pink cheeks that made her look so young and innocent that any glare of hers always turned into some sort of look of admiration. It was quite amusing to see her try, actually.

What wasn't amusing was the punch she gave my arm as she walked off to her dormitory. "Right. See you later at practice, Captain. Lily will probably show up at dinner."

_Why on earth is that witch so damn violent? _Although I guess that's what made her and Lily friends in the first place. They probably spend nights in their beds plotting everyone's demise in an extremely painful manner.Is that what concubines of the night do? I'd have to ask Lily if we ever end up together. Which we will, since I've reached Sirius and Peter and am about to tell them the plan.

"Prongs, hey. What took you so long?" Sirius was leaning on one end of the couch while Peter sat among the cushions on the floor.

"Where's Remus?"

"Homework upstairs." Peter answered. Of course. Did I even expect anything less from _the _smart one?

"Come on, then. I have something to tell you lot."

Peter got up willingly enough, but Sirius grumbled about bossy Quidditch captains and unnecessary meetings until we got up to the room that my three mates shared with Gideon and Fabian Prewett. Great blokes, they were, but they always seemed to keep to themselves. The turkey fiasco last Christmas was no work of a Marauder, and Fabian smelled suspiciously like Enlarging Potion after the dinner. Sirius respected few people, but I suspect the Prewetts were near the top of that list.

There was no need to worry though, because only Remus was in the dormitory when we went in. "Remus. Stop being a studious arse for once and listen to the plan."

At that, Sirius's eyes lit up. "Plan to what? I know a bloke that's cousins with this other bloke who sells fireworks pretty damn cheap. I think it's about time to invest in that friendship."

"No, Padfoot, shut your trap. This plan involves Lily."

Their faces produced three lovely expressions. Peter was confused, Sirius looked disbelieving, and Remus epitomised thoughtfulness.

"I thought you were over her." _No, Peter, of course not. Otherwise, why would there be a plan?_

"_Why _aren't you over her? It's been years, James, I thought we went through this already." _Sirius, you're actually right. Why am I not over her?_

"What's the plan?" Only Remus seemed to care about the reason I forced them into this conversation. He might just be my new best mate. I mean, it's true, I've stopped whining about Lily and her green eyes last year, but that's only because I mentally whine now. The three of them had informed me of their agreement to send me to St. Mungo's if I don't stop talking about Lily soon, and I _like _freedom and breathing fresh, clean air, you know?

"Davies is taking Lily out on Saturday. We go to Hogsmeade with my invisibility cloak, embarrass the hell out of him, and the day after, Gryffindor pummels Hufflepuff in Quidditch. Lily will then see what a tosser Davies is and run straight into my arms."

"You call _that _a plan? James, that is the most pathetic thing I've ever heard of. And why the hell would Evans run to _your _arms?" Sirius, you're supposed to be supportive here, stop that logical thinking. Then again, I haven't even revealed my trump card yet.

"She called me James."

Their responses were disgusting.

"She was drunk."

"She hit her head."

"_You _hit her head."

"You slipped her love potion!"

"Davies slipped her love potion, but she saw you first, so it backfired on him."

"You transfigured her brain!"

"She's starting to like you."

All of us stared at Remus as he said that. _Finally, a voice of reason!_

"But Moony… Lily's hated James since first year." Peter said in small, really confused voice. I couldn't blame the bloke. Our screaming matches weren't exactly held in private, and sometimes, wands were drawn and excessive body hair grew rapidly on both of us. It was never a pretty sight for anyone to see us fight.

"Which is why I said _starting to." _Remus pointedly said.

"Remus is right." Sirius said slowly. "You're too bloody chivalrous to actually slip her love potion, so I guess she actually feels something, mate. Incredible, unbelievable, even, but all that pestering must have finally gotten to her."

I beamed. Sirius was my best mate, so I needed his support first and foremost out of everyone. "So you agree with the plan?"

"No, your plan's bloody rubbish. I have my own plan, and it's just that much better than yours."

Sirius leaned forward from the bed he was leaning on with _the_ dark, mischievous look on his face. It was the look that sent both Filch and girls running after him. It was the look that made all my Gryffindor bravery vanish on the spot, knowing that his plan was bound to have serious consequences that I _will_ suffer for. Lily Evans was going to either hate me or love me, and Sirius was getting hexed all the way to Saturn's fifth ring if it wasn't the latter.

**OoOoOoO**

**Guys, guys, guys, I am very sorry, but my mum's birthday is in two weeks, and I'm writing her a collection of short stories as a birthday present. It'll be my main priority, but I **_**will **_**try to write Ramblings as well. I'm just warning you now that updates might be a bit slow, at least until I finish her collection. Thank you for reading and reviewing! **


	6. Monday, when cheesecake is dropped

_KLANG!_

The sound of my spoon hitting the stone floor of the dungeons nearly made me jump. I had decided to forego eating dinner in the Great Hall for the chance to bond with the house elves in the kitchens. Wandering around the castle for I don't even know how long made me want sugar, and strawberry cheesecake always tasted better freshly baked, as I have proven dozens of times.

_Keep lying to yourself, Lil. You just didn't want to see James. Or Hestia. Or Dorcas. Or Sirius or Marlene or Edmund or Remus. You didn't want to explain anything to them, did you?_

_So I wanted to bask in my happiness alone outside the Hogwarts kitchens. So what? As a Head Girl under the stress of responsibility, studies, and an emotional conflict between two Quidditch captains, I think I deserve to be cut some slack. _

_Two Quidditch captains? I'm fairly sure you only truly fancy one. _

_I'm fairly sure you're only truly bent on driving me mad. _

Voice-in-my-head number two was about to retort that she was me and I was her, which meant that _I _was bent on driving myself mad, but footsteps were echoing, coming towards me. Before I could even scourgify the floor that was now littered with my cheesecake, Severus Snape came into view.

So do I run, or try to cast a Disillusionment Charm and _then _run?

I was being silly, I knew, but I couldn't help it. Since the great "Mudblood" incident and his numerous, ineffective apologies, I haven't spoken to Severus. Well, there was that one time in sixth year when I asked him to pass me a unicorn horn in Potions, but that doesn't really count, not when I completely drove someone who used to be my best friend out of my life. I had done everything in my power not to get stuck in the situation I was in right now, but I just _had _to pick tonight to be careless, didn't I? Maybe I was being overdramatic about the incident. Maybe I miss him sometimes, and maybe I shouldn't have thrown our friendship out the window like that. But whenever I think back to that time when he called me the thing that would guarantee my death from this "activist" named Lord Voldemort, I do not regret it. Severus chose where he wanted to go, and it was somewhere I could never follow him down to.

"Lily… what are you doing in the dungeons?"

_It's not too late for a Disillusionment Charm, Lil! _

"I didn't really feel like eating real food. Plus, the house elves are nice." I decided to be light-hearted in an effort to lessen at least some of the tension, and gave him a smile.

In return for my smile, he gave me a scowl. "Of course they're nice. They're meant to be. They're slaves, after all."

There. Right there. Right there is the reason I could not stand talking to him for two years, and by the looks of it, that period is about to be extended. I was trying to be _civil_, and he responds with a display of his messed-up sense of superiority. All feelings of happiness James had given me evaporated in that one second and I just felt so, so, so _angry. _Angry at Severus for being such a stuck-up, elitist arsehole, angry at myself for not leaving when I had the split-second chance, and, for some absurd reason, angry at the four Hogwarts founders for making the Slytherin common room so close to the kitchens. Unfortunately, theypassed away centuries ago, and I doubted my screams of self-loathing would be appreciated in the dungeons. Severus would have to receive it all, then.

"You... you are absolute _shit_, you know that? I came here in a perfectly good mood, and somehow, in less than twenty-five words, you ruin my entire day. You couldn't just say 'yes, Lily, I agree, but I have to go.' Oh, no, _that's _not enough for the great Severus Snape! You just _had_ to go ahead and show me how superior _you _are to everyone! I spent two years trying to distance myself from you and your messed-up beliefs, and yet you manage to give me a gold-class example of why I utterly _despise _what you believe in in one sentence. How do you do that? No, wait, don't answer, it's probably some exclusive Dark Arts secret that only people in your little pureblood group can know. Please excuse me; I don't want to infect you with my inferior birth."

Panting slightly from my rant, I marched off towards a staircase. Severus didn't do or say anything, and I didn't know what his expression was because I never bothered to look back. It was done. I had to leave him behind; it's not like he wanted me to stay, anyway.

Ten minutes or so later, Hestia Jones was in my room, watching me pace about and listening to me go on for an hour about blood equality and the Hogwarts' founders horrid mistake in floor plans.

"Of all places! The Slytherin common room can be in the Forbidden Forest, for all I care, but _why _the same floor as the kitchen? Just… why?"

Now, most people would think I was clinically insane, but this was _Hestia _I was talking to. We met in Diagon Alley when I was buying school stuff before my first year in Hogwarts started, and she was slightly mental about quills, I was slightly mental about everything, and birds of the same feather flock together. Or something like that.

"I myself think that the kitchen should be directly beside _our _common room. Gryffindors would get in so much less trouble if food was only ten steps away, instead of what feels like ten floors of Filch and that cat." Hestia ran her fingers through her black, silky hair as she pondered how it would be like to have the kitchen in her reach. Hestia was James's cousin, and apparently, everyone related to him has what I refer to as The Habit. It sounded like an alcohol problem, I know, but it was quicker to say than "the-running-fingers-through-hair-habit". But anyway, I've always wondered why James was… James, while Hestia was such a lovely, understanding, albeit slightly unhinged person. I mean, sure, she had some violent tendencies, but so do I. Again, birds of the same feather flock together.

"I never want to speak to Snape again. Ever. All he does is remind me how much I miss the person he used to be and how much I hate the person he is now."

At that, Hestia got up from my bed and rushed forward to give me a hug. She was almost as tall as James, and James was a head and a bit taller than me, so it was a hug that deprived me of air to breathe.

"Aww, Lily! You do not, I repeat, do _not _need that arse in your life. You are Muggle-born, and you are one of the best witches I know, which means he is completely, absolutely, utterly wrong."

I managed to retract a bit from her hug to tell her that I liked breathing and that she's not letting me do that.

"Oh, right. Sorry."

"S'all right. Hey, don't you have Quidditch practice soon?"

"Oh, yea. James is going to throw another fit if I'm late… By the way, do you know why he's so… happy? He came into the common room before dinner looking like the sun took a giant glowing shit on his face, and it was just plain scary."

"… Giant glowing shit?"

"You know, 'cause his smile was so bright. The sun is bright. Therefore, the sun's shit is bright, and I'm not making any sense."

"No. No, you're not. Never take up writing as a profession, or I'll be forced to let you live with me after you get kicked out of your apartment for not being able to pay rent."

"Always the soul of positivity, Lil. Anyway, I gotta go get my stuff and go down to the hell I call Quidditch practice. Marlene and Dorcas are in the library if you want some more souls to suck in your vortex."

Oh, right. In my haste to get everything out of my system, I'd forgotten to ask where our other two good friends were. Between Snape and Hestia, though, I think I'd done enough ranting for the day. I'll leave those two souls to be sucked some other day.

"See you, Tia." And off she went to the travesty I called Quidditch. Oh well, at least she forgot her question about James's happiness. I mean, I was going to tell her about James, anyway, but I didn't want her to be late for practice. Gryffindor _has _to beat Hufflepuff.

_And Edmund? What about him now?_

_Err… what about him?_

_You have a date. On Saturday._

_I should cancel… it wouldn't be fair to him if I went on a date with him whilst I fancied someone else._

_Ha! So you admit you fancy James Potter, former bane of your existence!_

_I don't like your choice of words. I'd prefer "slightly attracted to my academic rival"._

_No… you…_

And then the tears started falling and a sob escaped from my throat. So I lied. So I told myself I didn't want Tia to be late for practice when the truth was that while going on about how much I loathed Severus's presence, I wanted to cry because it never used to be like this. But of course I couldn't cry in front of her. I knew she'd understand because she is an amazing friend, but really, it has been two years and this matter should not be affecting me this much.

But it was. Severus was my best friend for so long, and he was the one that introduced me to magic. He told me everything there is to know about the wizarding world, or at least what he knew about it, and he trusted me with his troubles with his family. He defended me when my own sister called me a freak, and he told me I was special. It wasn't easy to ignore his apologies two years ago, and it still isn't. I had to, though. I didn't want myself going where he went, and besides, the murderous looks on his "friends'" faces whenever they saw me was actually going through my shield of bravery. Tia, Dorcas, and Marlene never said told me to stop being friends with him, but the look of relief on _their _faces when I stopped talking to Severus was evident. All three of them are smart girls, and if they think what I did was the smart thing to do, then that was enough support for me.

Another sob. And another. And another. The crying didn't last for long, although my mixed emotions about Severus did, but I soon grabbed my wand and straightened myself out. It would not do for the Head Girl to look so damn distressed, even though she's just going to the Head common room to grab a book she left there. I know, I know, it wasn't necessary, since James is in practice, anyway, but I like being prepared.

As it turns out, being prepared pays off. Just when I opened the door of my room, James opened the door to the common room. I'd never say this out loud, but Severus suddenly took a back seat in my mind when I saw the windswept mop of black hair walk through that door.

"Hi, James. I thought you had practice." I gave him a smile, much brighter than the one I gave Severus. Looks like the sun took a glowing shit on me as well. Merlin, the metaphors Tia comes up with, I swear.

" 'Lo, Lily. Just came to get something I forgot."

He looked at me for about half a second, then went to his room with no hint of a smile at all, not even his standard friendly one. I just stood there, slightly shocked. What happened to him being unbelievably, alarmingly happy, as his cousin told me? He was back a few moments later and was just about to leave the room when I asked him, "Are you all right?"

"Hm? Yea, I am." And then he left.

What?

_What? _

What in the name of bloody hell did I do now? Why is he being so cold? This… This is just great. My encounter with Severus had already put my spirits down very, very, very low, and now _Potter _goes and snubs me. Bloody fantastic. I thought it was a good day after Transfiguration had ended, but oh no, Severus and James Potter make a great tandem, don't they?

I might as well go do my bloody patrol. Nothing like hours of walking around the school alone to end this marvellous day of mine. Wondering if a house elf had cleaned up the cheesecake mess I made in the dungeons and whether I could get another one, I slammed the door of the Head common room and went off to the hell I call patrol.

**OoOoOoOoOoO**

**I profusely apologise for the long time it took this update! Again, thank you for your kind reviews, they mean quite a lot! **


	7. Chapter 7

Guys, I am so, so sorry, but I've decided to discontinue this fic. I was rereading it, and I realised that I really didn't think it through before starting. I think I'll stick to oneshots for now, but I really do appreciate all the reviews and subscriptions you guys have given me. And to F3rn, my mum did have a nice birthday, thank you :)

**I am not going to stop writing fanfiction. **Please take note of that. I just don't think I'm doing the beauty that is Lily and James's story any justice with this fic. I might go back at some point and edit everything, but education is not letting me have a free schedule. Until then, oneshots it is.

Love,

Amanda


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